New Year’s Eve. It’s been tricky for me for a while. You see, I lost someone very close to me just over nine years ago, and a great many of the brilliant New Year parties (and the not so brilliant) had her in a starring role. Since then I’ve tried to play along but my heart’s just not been in it. People talk about Christmas being tough for the same reason, but for me this particular night is when I feel the need to honour my friend, when I think about her even more than usual. Over the years it has lost its sting, but I remember that first year, watching the fireworks at a bustling party and thinking “She can’t kiss me, text me or phone me this year. It’ll never be the same again.”
All this might sound gloomy, but honestly it really isn’t any more. Last year, the first with my son, we made the decision to stay in, watch a film, drink fizz and laugh at the Hootenanny. You can just about see the fireworks in London from my doorstep, but I was warm in bed instead. It was the first time I’d felt 100% positive about the night in a long time.
The Christmas holidays are bloody hard work when you’ve got two loving families living 200 miles apart and you want to fit everyone in. Not that hard compared to a lot of people, I know; but we seem to spend a lot of time in the car. We have a blast, and this year Christmas was fantastic, but we tend to be pretty tired when we finally make it home. I decided that if we were always going to have to be away for Christmas Day, perhaps we could reclaim New Year. Have it as a little celebration, just the three of us. I can’t think of a better way to ring in 2018.
Thanks to you all for taking the time to read the little bit of writing I’ve managed in this first full year of being a mum. It’s been wonderful, challenging and exciting, as all the best years are. Sure, the 31st December is just another day; but you can’t deny there’s a lot of magic in all that joyful hope and expectation. I’ll raise my glass to my little family, my beloved friend, and to all of you.
Happy New Year ❤